Little Boxes III


Yes. Yes! [digs in her cosmic claws] YES!

“Afternoon, Ma’am, are you here to pick up a prescription?”

“No, not a prescription. My friend said he called in an order for me.”

“Sure, let me check that for you. And what name would that be under?”

“Schilde. S-C-H-I-L-D-E…”

“Schilde… Schilde… Ah here were are… Annie is it?”


[pulls slip] “Very good! Order for one dozen orgasms, pre-paid! Your friend, ah… Tincup, must like you very much!”

“Right. That’s just Tinc’s way of saying he feels guilty for not coming to see me.”

[fidgets uncomfortably] “I see. I’m sorry about that. Well, it’s an open order. What kind of orgasms would you like?”

“Get out! They come in like flavors or something? Urrggg… no pun intended.”

“None taken. We carry several brands.”

“What’s your most popular?”

“Big Bang.”


“Yes, Ma’am.”

“That sounds kind of, um… masculine.”

“I understand. The ladies do seem to prefer the Out of this World brand.”

“Whatever, I’ll take those.”

[waits patiently]

[looks annoyed at pharmacist]

“What size?”


“Orbit? Moon shot? Galactic merge?”


“Is something wrong, Ma’am?”

“Galactic merge? Seriously? I’m still getting used to the idea that orgasms come in a box! Urrggg… No p…”

[chimes in] “…pun intended. None taken. So then…?”

“Orbit, I guess.”

“Great! A dozen Out of this World Orbits. I’ll box those right up for you. Now, if I could just see some ID…”


“Yes, Ma’am. You have to be eighteen to have an orgasm.”

“Um… I’ve been pretty good at ’em since I was twelve? Anyway, I thought Tinc already paid for these. Didn’t you check his ID?”

“Yes Ma’am, but I have to check yours too. Buying orgasms for a minor is a felony.”

[shows her ID]

“Perfect. And may I say you look very young for twenty-eight!”

“Thanks, I think.”

[disappears in the back, returns, and bags a dozen small boxes]


“Is something wrong, Ma’am?”

“They don’t look like much. I guess I just thought they’d be… you know… bigger is all.”

“Some things never change.”

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing. Thank you very much, Ms. Schilde. Enjoy your orgasms and do come again!”

© 2013 Anne Schilde

Authors Note: This was inspired by questions posed by Tinc over at Contemplating the Human Direction.

About Anne Schilde

Image "Webster's Kiss" © 2011 Anne Schilde Thanks always for reading! ♥
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22 Responses to Little Boxes III

  1. TheOthers1 says:

    This cracked me up. Loved it?

  2. Diane Turner says:

    Ha ha! Who’d a’thought.

  3. Marian Green says:

    Oh my gosh Anne! This is awesome! Brilliant! Too fun for words!!!! You are increadable!

  4. joetwo says:

    That was brilliant! I wonder if they’ll start selling them in boots down the road.

  5. Tincup says:

    Lmao…that was hillarious…so u chose the Orbit…ha ha…better than the big bang…I imagine the orbit to be a nice long process…ha ha

  6. (Standing) (Clapping) (Shouting) BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO!

    “Doesn’t get any better than this……. ” (he said to his companion as the theater lights dimmed and they put on their coats and they eave into the cool night air)

  7. Tanitha Smith says:

    Lovely and light hearted! Make me choke 🙂

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