That Girl

Picture reposted from ermiliablog.wordpress.com

Click the pic for the original challenge. Written for Ermilia’s Picture It & Write.

I don’t want to be that girl.

Oh God, who am I kidding? I am that girl.

I believed in you, Stephen… in us. Was that so wrong of me? Since I was six… five… it just seemed like the perfect end to life involved two rocking chairs and a collection of anniversary gifts my failing memory couldn’t attribute to the years anymore. We were that. Weren’t we? We were going to be that someday.

Look at me. Some days I hate Daddy more than others. What would the harm in dolls have been anyway? I’m sure if I’d been allowed to play with Bridal Barbie, I’d have been through this years ago. Postal Barbie could have torn Cheater Ken’s arms off and stuffed them up his anatomically-corrected… and I probably wouldn’t be sitting here crying.

Daddy! Oh my God, I can’t believe I have to call him! He’s going to be so mad at me. Stephen meant more to him than I ever did. He’s going to blame me. Somehow he’ll make this all my fault. He always makes it my fault. He’ll tell me I drove Stephen away.

Maybe it is my fault. Maybe I spent too much time dreaming about meaningless anniversary knick-knacks and worrying about things like wedding dres… Oh God, I had my dress picked out and everything. I was going to look so beautiful. Why?

Why Stephen…? Why?

You need to get a grip on yourself, Annie. It’s not your fault. He’s going to be home. You can’t let him find you like this.

Oh God, what am I going to say to him?

I don’t understand. We had the perfect life. Didn’t we? I thought we had the perfect life. We both had our careers. We both wanted children. We were young. We were happy… Five years. We’ve been engaged five years!

She doesn’t even love him. He’s so stupid! You’re so stupid, Stephen! I would have been a good wife. I was going to… be… so… beautiful… I hope you know what you lost, Stephen. I hope you know what you lost…

Come on, Annie. You don’t want to be that girl.

I have to go. I can’t be home when he gets here. I can’t face him. I can’t be home… Oh God, where am I going to go? This is my home. This is… my home.

I’m not that girl.

I’m not that girl.

Oh God, there’s his truck…

© 2012 Anne Schilde

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About Anne Schilde

Image "Webster's Kiss" © 2011 Anne Schilde Thanks always for reading! ♥
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24 Responses to That Girl

  1. I got a little lost with this one… have they been living together for five years? And now they’re supposed to be getting married but he’s been cheating on her?

    But then it seemed like maybe they had been married already for years …”it just seemed like the perfect end to life involved two rocking chairs and a collection of anniversary gifts my failing memory couldn’t attribute to the years anymore. We were that.” as well as buying meaningless anniversary knick-knacks – anniversary knick-knacks for all the years that they have been married or for the five years they’ve been shacking up together (I assume that that’s what they have been doing) and now were supposed to get married?

    The emotions are good but I’m lost in the plot….

    • Anne Schilde says:

      This is a variation on something I wrote as a part of a story called Dead End Streets. I just wanted the raw emotions taken out of context. It wouldn’t be very realistic if they made sense, at least not according to witnesses. 🙂 Thanks for struggling through it, Randy! ♥

      I made two small edits based on your comment. Hope they help.

      • As much as I am hysterical, I am still grounded in mucking facts… (feelings are good but what are the facts, said the guy from Dragnet )

        the changes are better…. clearer, but at the risk of your, ” tsk, tsk… ” I still think it needs a slight more tweaking for clarity about their current relationship, but then again I like clarity. Kz can live with more emotion fuzziness.

        But it’s only a “flash fiction” – bigger things to fry like Micah’s stories. 😉

        Randy

  2. kz says:

    hmmnn got a little confused but i guess that’s how it’s supposed to be .. like being in the mind of a hysterical woman.. good story..”I’m not that girl….I’m not that girl..” yup, the repetition makes it realistic. imho, 🙂

  3. oscarjamieson says:

    Liked the slice of life. Raw emotions, vague context – maybe not for others but certainly my cup of tea!

    • Anne Schilde says:

      I write a lot of different things, and usually none of them are everyone’s cup of tea. 🙂 I try not to judge the content, just let it out. Stay out of the way, Annie, is kind of my motto. I’m really glad you liked this one! Thanks for reading! ♥

  4. rumpydog says:

    I got it! It’s her thoughts, and, well….. thoughts aren’t facts, are they? But she’s in his home. What happens next? That’s what I wanna know!

    • Anne Schilde says:

      Depends on which version of the story. They get into a pretty good fight when he gets in the door, but the content depends on whether she’s pregnant or not, whether Jessi’s already on her way over with hot coffee, etc… Writing any further wouldn’t really fit for what I did with this prompt though. I wrote my favorite version in Dead End Streets.

  5. Did you just add this line or did i miss it the on my last reading?
    ‘Oh God, where am I going to go? This is my home. This is… my home.”
    The piece is clearer to me now/…
    and I don’t give a sh*t whether she is pregnant or not – but that would certainly make me more hysterical!!!!! I’m not sure about the coffee though 😉

  6. joetwo says:

    This was a wonderful train of thought piece. You really entered the mind-state of the woman here! Well done.

  7. II says:

    Stream of conscience-esque, eh? Are people generally rational in anger? Of course not.

  8. Omg… just could feel her sadness and despair… so touching! Well-written! Happy new year 2013! Keep on writing as beautifully as you do 🙂

  9. Ermilia says:

    Bahahahahaha! “Postal Barbie could have torn Cheater Ken’s arms off and stuffed them up his anatomically-corrected… and I probably wouldn’t be sitting here crying.” The touch of humor in the darkness adds a layer that makes your writing so beautiful.

    • Anne Schilde says:

      I was crying when I wrote this. I cry a lot and so trying to make myself laugh is kind of a defense mechanism. A joke about dolls seems really random without context, but it’s actually pretty rational. It really sucks being the only girl who isn’t allowed to play with dolls. I had a music box that had a tiny ballerina in it who spun around on a little mirror. I used to take her out and play with her until I got caught and Daddy took her away. She was kind of my one and only doll, and the ballerina in the picture reminded me of her. Anyway, I’m glad it made someone laugh!

      • Ermilia says:

        D: I was allowed to play with dolls. Mom was actually a little concerned about me because I’d tie them up and not let Ken rescue them.

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