A couple few several… I don’t know… months ago, a blogger I’m afraid I can’t remember was Freshly Pressed…
Hush! Stop repeating that. It’s not a new mantra.
This blogger wrote about the things real people really say that annoy her. There were several, but it was the phrase “just sayin” that caught my attention.
Oh em gee. Are you serious right now? I stopped reading Freshly Pressed that day. Just sayin. I make it a point now to use the phrase “just sayin” more frequently in my dialogue (although not in my comments, as that would be just typin), and I’ve even recently been posting a series of “Just sayin:” Facebook status updates no one reads.
I didn’t stop reading Freshly Pressed because of
another a silly rant about someone’s narcissistic antipathy pet peeves. Or because I stumbled upon the umteenth writer writing about writer’s block because they have writer’s block it’s clever. Or even because of another boring unbelievably bad movie review. I stopped reading because WordPress doesn’t press fiction.
Mostly what they press seems to be excuse after excuse for photos, which maybe they really think a picture is worth a thousand words. Guys. It’s a hyperbole. A picture isn’t worth any words. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have anything against beautiful photographs. They just aren’t words and this is WordPress. Just sayin.
Periodically, I do go back and skim through the
deceptively interesting topics on Freshly Pressed. I pop one open and find a couple of orphaned captions paragraphs interspersed with another barrage of photographs. I travel vicariously to another country I’ll never actually be able to visit. I devour another amazing recipe that only six people on the planet have the ingredients for in their kitchen. Then I close the page, disappointed again, because again, there was no fiction.
Now, maybe it’s silly of me to be offended by this. Maybe it’s jealousy. Fiction is, after all, the only thing I write. Maybe the months I spent reading Freshly Pressed every day weren’t enough and I stopped the day before they started pressing fiction. Probably not.
Here’s the thing. People read fiction. You read fiction. Chances are you’ve read more fiction than all other literature combined. At least for entertainment. A lot of the non-fiction you’re reading is
bullshit pretty creative. Am I wrong? So why doesn’t WordPress press fiction?
I can’t say they’ve never published fiction. Anna at Insanity Aquarium is a sort of hero of mine. Her blog features weekly fiction and one of her pieces was, in fact, Freshly Pressed. My friend Adam at 1 Story A Week however has never captured their attention. In spite of writing awesome fiction for more than 400 followers and tagging every single post with “Freshly Pressed”.
So why is it, that a smug, self-righteous rant about other people’s speech habits deserves the attention of WordPress readers, when an endearing exploration of age such as this one, from The Mind of Tanitha, does not? Or what about this awesome lesson in geology woven into a story at Joe2Stories? How about an adorable fictitious childhood memory from Banana Bomb, or Adam’s moving anniversary dinner date? This hilarious phone call to WordPress Tech Support from Brown Road Chronicles surely deserves to be pressed.
I thought of some possible reasons. Maybe no one on the WordPress staff has an imagination. Maybe they think too much fiction will make you go blind. Maybe they believe, like Daddy, that you will go to Hell for it. Maybe Matt Mullenweg had a bad childhood experience with closet monsters or something. Those ideas all seemed pretty plausible, but the real reason finally dawned on me when I trashed my 1,314th spam message informing me that my latest chapter of fiction was a “brilliant discussion on the topic.”
It’s collusion! I know, I know all you conspiracy nay-sayers, but hear me out. Blogs have traditionally been informational, you know,
opinionated topical discussions, insipid interesting diaries, misleading expert how-tos and the like. Fiction isn’t really a web log in that sense. Freshly Pressing fiction would spread like an infection encourage more fiction blogs. WordPress must be getting money incentives from the spammers who don’t want to invest in writing new spam engines.
There is some really good fiction out there in the WordPress blogosphere. Don’t count on Freshly Pressed to help you find it.
© 2012 Anne Schilde