Just Sayin

Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

A couple few several… I don’t know… months ago, a blogger I’m afraid I can’t remember was Freshly Pressed…

Hush! Stop repeating that. It’s not a new mantra.

This blogger wrote about the things real people really say that annoy her. There were several, but it was the phrase “just sayin” that caught my attention. Oh em gee. Are you serious right now? I stopped reading Freshly Pressed that day. Just sayin. I make it a point now to use the phrase “just sayin” more frequently in my dialogue (although not in my comments, as that would be just typin), and I’ve even recently been posting a series of “Just sayin:” Facebook status updates no one reads.

I didn’t stop reading Freshly Pressed because of another a silly rant about someone’s narcissistic antipathy pet peeves. Or because I stumbled upon the umteenth writer writing about writer’s block because they have writer’s block it’s clever. Or even because of another boring unbelievably bad movie review. I stopped reading because WordPress doesn’t press fiction.

Mostly what they press seems to be excuse after excuse for photos, which maybe they really think a picture is worth a thousand words. Guys. It’s a hyperbole. A picture isn’t worth any words. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have anything against beautiful photographs. They just aren’t words and this is WordPress. Just sayin.

Periodically, I do go back and skim through the deceptively interesting topics on Freshly Pressed. I pop one open and find a couple of orphaned captions paragraphs interspersed with another barrage of photographs. I travel vicariously to another country I’ll never actually be able to visit. I devour another amazing recipe that only six people on the planet have the ingredients for in their kitchen. Then I close the page, disappointed again, because again, there was no fiction.

Now, maybe it’s silly of me to be offended by this. Maybe it’s jealousy. Fiction is, after all, the only thing I write. Maybe the months I spent reading Freshly Pressed every day weren’t enough and I stopped the day before they started pressing fiction. Probably not.

Here’s the thing. People read fiction. You read fiction. Chances are you’ve read more fiction than all other literature combined. At least for entertainment. A lot of the non-fiction you’re reading is bullshit pretty creative. Am I wrong? So why doesn’t WordPress press fiction?

I can’t say they’ve never published fiction. Anna at Insanity Aquarium is a sort of hero of mine. Her blog features weekly fiction and one of her pieces was, in fact, Freshly Pressed. My friend Adam at 1 Story A Week however has never captured their attention. In spite of writing awesome fiction for more than 400 followers and tagging every single post with “Freshly Pressed”.

So why is it, that a smug, self-righteous rant about other people’s speech habits deserves the attention of WordPress readers, when an endearing exploration of age such as this one, from The Mind of Tanitha, does not? Or what about this awesome lesson in geology woven into a story at Joe2Stories? How about an adorable fictitious childhood memory from Banana Bomb, or Adam’s moving anniversary dinner date? This hilarious phone call to WordPress Tech Support from Brown Road Chronicles surely deserves to be pressed.

I thought of some possible reasons. Maybe no one on the WordPress staff has an imagination. Maybe they think too much fiction will make you go blind. Maybe they believe, like Daddy, that you will go to Hell for it. Maybe Matt Mullenweg had a bad childhood experience with closet monsters or something. Those ideas all seemed pretty plausible, but the real reason finally dawned on me when I trashed my 1,314th spam message informing me that my latest chapter of fiction was a “brilliant discussion on the topic.”

It’s collusion! I know, I know all you conspiracy nay-sayers, but hear me out. Blogs have traditionally been informational, you know, opinionated topical discussions, insipid interesting diaries, misleading expert how-tos and the like. Fiction isn’t really a web log in that sense. Freshly Pressing fiction would spread like an infection encourage more fiction blogs. WordPress must be getting money incentives from the spammers who don’t want to invest in writing new spam engines.

Maybe not.

There is some really good fiction out there in the WordPress blogosphere. Don’t count on Freshly Pressed to help you find it.

Just sayin.

© 2012 Anne Schilde

About Anne Schilde

Image "Webster's Kiss" © 2011 Anne Schilde Thanks always for reading! ♥
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20 Responses to Just Sayin

  1. Pingback: Retirement? Not quite yet… | The Brown Road Chronicles

  2. joetwo says:

    Thanks for the free advertising Anne. Much appreciated! If you keep on complaining about freshly pressed then they may end up freshly pressing you. Then where will you be?

  3. TheOthers1 says:

    I’ve not read the freshly pressed page in ages. It just is never anything I want to read. The same thing occurs in other blog sites with similar set ups. Which is odd because most of the people I follow are fiction writers. Maybe they just aren’t being exposed to good fiction.

  4. People are going to think I am just saying this (or just sayin’) because you mentioned me, but I don’t care what people think, I care what you think. And you know me. I thought this was great. Funny, witty, and so true. Fantastic post Annie.

  5. Anna says:

    Oh, Anne, thank you so much for mentioning me! I remember at the time you commented that my post was one of the only fiction blogs you’d ever seen on the front page of WP.- and I have to say that ever since then I do always scan the front page to see if any other fiction has been FP’d because you’re right, there are so many great stories on WP! There’s always posts about food, travel, reviews of films or albums, artwork, writer’s block (funny you mentioned that, there’s one on there now)… but never anything about cabbage monsters or dishwashers that like to eat small children. I have no idea why. The list of blogs I subscribe to would grow in number rapidly if they did ever post any fiction, I’m sure, I do always hold out a little hope for it.

    Loved this post! It made me laugh and say ‘humph’ in general agreement at every sentence.

    • Anne Schilde says:

      Haha, sometimes you can’t get small children and you have to settle for yogurt. I link to your blog because I hope people will click it and be treated to a smile. Glad I was able to make you laugh my Freshly Pressed Hero. ♥

  6. Thanks again Anne, for the kick in the butt to get back to my blog. I don’t really get why fiction doesn’t get pressed, I would think putting one good story up there once a week, or at each update would attract some fresh readers to the Pressed page.

  7. Marian Green says:

    I’m worn out so I don’t have anything fresh to say in the comments other than… hi. And thanks for being a conduit to connect me with other writers. : )

  8. yazrooney says:

    Well said Anne. I hope they hear you. You’ve got my vote.

    • Anne Schilde says:

      It doesn’t seem likely, Yaz. The only times I’ve ever seen fiction up there, it was tagged as something else, usually humor. In that light, I thought it would be fun to do a humor piece about it. At least I can say I stuck a couple of monsters in the CEO’s closet, you know? 🙂 Thanks for your vote!

  9. Tincup says:

    LOL…funny piece Anne. You must realize by now that what gets attention is what the majority of people find interesting or think they find interesting. Perhaps when you are dead your fiction will get Freshly Pressed…the fate of most outstanding artists.

    I am curious. Why do you like fiction as your means of expression? I enjoyed reading fiction in the past, but I am curious where your passion comes from for this medium?

    • Anne Schilde says:

      Thanks, Tinc! I don’t get too many personal questions. Hmm… The simple answer would be to say it comes from my dreams just like the stories do. Fiction isn’t really my passion, though. It’s my life. It’s who I am. From as early as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be more than just a character in a story. Readers bring me to life.

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