Click the pic for the original challenge. Written for Ermilia’s Picture It & Write.
Mbadiwe stood trembling at the door of his hut. Never in his seventeen suns had the village been so still. The air felt heavy. His lungs as if the night itself sucked his breath from him. Blindness clutched his eyes. Spear clenched tightly in his fist, he pushed the door open and stepped out in noble fear.
“Igwe!” he cried out, for Igwe had plucked even the stars from the pitch black sky. His voice did not carry, but fell flat on the dead air. Utterly blind, he turned instinctively to his right, toward the heart of the village. His bare feet felt their way through the familiar dust of the road. Each step summoned terror and it drew itself upon him clinging to his skin like the cloaks of river mud he made as camouflage to hunt.
No sounds came to his ears. No cry answered his. The air was filled with the spark of storm. Mbadiwe would have believed this all to be the trick of a storm, but for the silence. His village was empty. He was alone. What had happened to them all? A proud village of hunters. Had they become the hunted?
The electricity tickled the back of Mbadiwe’s neck. Sweat formed and trickled, and in the lifeless night, it crawled on him. He was not alone. He could sense it everywhere around him. Everywhere and nowhere. Breathing with no breath, crouched in waiting, watching him. He drew his spear up and readied it.
Then above him, the night opened its eye. Luminous green showed the truth, that it was the world that was blind, not his eyes. It’s glow pierced his soul, chilled his blood.
“Ábàlì bu agbara!” he whispered.*
© 2012 Anne Schilde
* literally: the night is a god or spirit
Wow! I love the description of ‘the night opened it’s eye’ and ‘Each step summoned terror and it drew itself upon him clinging to his skin like the cloaks of river mud he made as camouflage to hunt.’ Awesome work. A chilling story, I hope he survived. Thanks for contributing this week, Annie. 🙂
– Ermisenda
Haha, yeah it probably turns out to be the moon or something silly like that. By the way, that last line would mean the night is a spirit/god if I did my homework right. A lot of fun trying to do a language Google can’t translate! 🙂
Wow, Anne!! It sent shivers down my spine!! Wonderful!
And the picture’s too scary!!
I know right? The pic totally freaked me out in my news feed. That’s this week’s PIaW! Come join the fun! And thanks!
Good take on the prompt.
Here’s Eye Spy
Thanks. You should put the link on Ermilia’s page where everyone will see it. I never miss them there. 🙂
Way to throw in some Malay, Annie! (That was Malay, right?? Haha)
Super creepy and thrilling all at the same time! Awesome. As usual. 🙂
Igbo (Nigerian). I’ve dreamed I was this fellow a couple of times. He’s really super tall, so it’s fun to be him! I thought he was South African until I started looking for his name to do this post. I don’t know if I’ve actually spoken or heard Igbo in my dreams, but it wouldn’t surprise me. Anyway, it was a lot of fun! Glad you liked it!
I really liked the end, when it said “The night opened its eye.” Great imagination.
Thank you very much! These picture challenges really are fun, aren’t they?
Oh yes, they sure are really challenging and it’s fun to be part of picture it and write too.
Wow. That was terrifying! Your discription was incredbile, I felt like I was there. The darkness creeped me out the most.
What language was the last bit in?
The language is Igbo, as are the names Mbadiwe and Igwe the sky god. I wanted the darkness creepy because that was my reaction to the picture. That’s great if I was able to achieve that. Thanks!