Her

Click the pic for the original challenge. Written for k8edid’s Deadly Sins series – Envy.

I hate her. I just hate her. There aren’t words for the depth of the hatred that wrenches my gut every single time I see her face.

Life is so unfair.

If life was fair, she would wear my face for a day. Feel what it’s like to walk in my shoes, to not be such a goddess. I should be the goddess, a real goddess. I would curse her to suffer my fate. She would feel the agony of being plain like me. If life was fair, I wouldn’t have to stare at her every miserable day.

Everything about her is so perfect. Why does she have to be so perfect? Not a mark blemishes her skin. Mirrored brows that have never seen tweezers a day in their life drape eyes of crystal blue. The slender elegance of her nose, the kissable sweetness in her Barbie doll lips… I wish she was a picture, a perfect little picture, so I could tear her to shreds.

She knows she has it all. I can see it in her face. Her absolutely flawless, even-the-angels-would-be-jealous face. Rubbing my nose in her beauty gives her such sickening satisfaction. I want to kill her. I’d rake out her mocking eyes, if I could only touch her.

I remember when she was little. God, I hated her then too. Her pretty blonde hair and her adorable pink cheeks stole everyone’s attention and she always had to be first. First at everything. She was first to get her ears pierced, first to wear makeup, first to wear the glow of a boy’s first kiss.

She thinks I want to be like her, to be her. Her smug smile teases me when she thinks it. But she’s wrong. I don’t want to be her. I don’t. I hate her for even thinking it. I hate her self-righteous looks. I hate her just for being her, for not being me.

If life was fair, I’d make her take my place. I would make her stare at my framed beauty in envy. I would be the one with the smug smile, and the taunting, reproachful eyes of sapphire. If life was fair, I could bring myself to smash her.

Life is so unfair.

I’ll probably have to stare at her for the rest of my days. I wouldn’t have to if I died, if I killed myself. She’d have no one to torment anymore. It would serve her right. I’d hate myself to Hell for giving her the satisfaction, but I’d be first.

© 2012 Anne Schilde

This was written for the second round (Envy) of the The Deadly Sins Series writing challenge hosted by k8tedid. There really have been some great entries and it’s worth stopping by even if only to read.

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About Anne Schilde

Image "Webster's Kiss" © 2011 Anne Schilde Thanks always for reading! ♥
This entry was posted in Stuff... cuz I like to write stuff! and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

39 Responses to Her

  1. You are a very good writer, well done.

  2. Chatter Master says:

    Wow!!!! The reflection is powerful!!!

  3. Thu says:

    This reminds me of a childhood bully. She essentially got her band of blonde scantily dressed friends to make fun of me for having a foreign name.

  4. I knew you’d write something that totally rocked. I’ve missed your words more than you can know. I love your writing style and energy!

  5. Ermilia says:

    I kept waiting for you to finish it with … “Life wasn’t fair. I punched the mirror and her perfect reflection shattered.” Or something better written. 😛 Showing that the perfect girl was her all along. Often those who are perceived as “perfect” have incredibly low self-esteem. A really good story, you channelled the anger at the injustice of the girl’s perfection so well. 🙂

    – Ermisenda

    • Anne Schilde says:

      Oh that’s perfect! That’s just what I wanted to hear! I actually had the same reactions while I was writing. I almost smashed the mirror, but then I decided the hanging desire to was more evocative.

  6. Aurora HSP says:

    Mega wattage moving, woman. Great writing, as usual 🙂 🙂 🙂

    • Anne Schilde says:

      Thanks, Janice! I was actually kind of scared what people would think when I read it back to myself… you know, it doesn’t seem real until you click post.

      • Aurora HSP says:

        I know! I’ve hit publish and had to revoke it many a time but you are such a good writer, no matter what you write 🙂

      • Anne Schilde says:

        Well, I’m really crappy at knowing what to say when someone says something nice. I swear you and everyone else who leave these nice comments are all such incredible writers I feel guilty when I hear them. I’d list you all but I’d miss someone as if the guilt wasn’t bad enough. I’m getting emotional… Um… thank you! ♥

      • Aurora HSP says:

        Awwwww. Enjoy! You deserve it, Anne, you do write well and I suspect you’ve made me feel quite emotional a time or two, as well. Now for instance 🙂 🙂 🙂 You are so very welcome!

  7. Wow. That was amazing! I loved it, especially the repition of “If life was fair… Life is so unfair.” It was only at the end that I realised that she was talking about herself – and when I re-read it again, it changed my perspective loads (I didn’t get the mirror clue, haha!).

    • Anne Schilde says:

      What a great comment! Thank you! The word mirror is a pretty subtle clue, considering they post it without any picture in the contest. Adam over at 1 Story A Week has written a couple of things like that where I had to go back and read it again to get the second perspective.

  8. Really loved this –your writing style and the twist. Well done!

  9. This is fabulous. The way we look at ourselves is a great subject to explore but
    I never would have thought to associate it with “Envy”. I like the way you approached
    the challenge. The story is frighteningly good. It makes me wnt to withdraw my entry.
    Well done … !!! Thanks for stopping by and reading mine.
    Isadora

    • Anne Schilde says:

      I see 12 entries so far and I like all 12 of them! Yours stacked up nicely against a novel I just read with a similar character threatening the protagonist’s marriage.

      I’m glad you think this works as a contest entry, although I haven’t seen k8e actually add it yet. I wasn’t sure how it would fare because most of us, myself included, don’t really see envy that way. It was a blast writing it though. 🙂

      Thanks for your comment!

  10. Whoa!!! Masterful writing, Annie!! I mean, that wasn’t even a long post, but it summed up EVERYTHING someone full of envy would be feeling!

    You are amazing.

    Amazing.

    • Anne Schilde says:

      It was hard making it as long as I did. Maintaining that kind of rage when you know it’s directed at your own reflection is difficult. I’ve just read it without the picture over on k8edid’s page and I just don’t know if I got the reflection part across. Anyway, thanks as always, Christy! I love your enthusiastic comments!

  11. onlinefunland says:

    Well Written !

  12. onlinefunland says:

    Most Welcome !

  13. Shalvika P says:

    Anne! Such wonderful piece! I love what you write and the twist in the end. Superb!

  14. joetwo says:

    Good one! That is seething with resentment and hatred and just a hint of desperation. The perfect description of envy.

  15. This piece beautifully underscores two (in my mind) priceless ‘observations’ that I hold most dear:
    First, “The less you pretend to be, the more you are.”
    Second, “If you look in a mirror and smile with genuine warmth at the person you see…you’ll have made a friend for life.”
    (Choices that are yours to make…and thus ‘reflected’ in who the mirror will see.)

    P.S. About a year ago I registered a blog titled, Mirror Talks with the idea of doing something similar to Ermilia’s “Picture It & Write”. I’ve been too busy since to give it any further thought, so its been sitting there waiting for some inspiration. After reading your ‘mirror’ pieces, I get the feeling that you might be the perfect person to help bring it to life. Take a look. I think you might agree that the concept has extraordinary potential…especially with someone as imaginative as you are at the helm. Just a thought…

    • Anne Schilde says:

      I always said you should be your own best friend. No one else could ever understand you like you do, and plus then you never have to be alone. Haha, I don’t know if that has anything to do with anything or not.

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