WP: Hello, WordPress technical support, this is Julie, how can I help you today?
ME: Hi Julie, thank you for taking my call, I’m terribly concerned… and I’d like to file a missing persons report.
WP: Ummm… This is a technical support for blogs. We don’t handle missing persons. What are you concerned about?
ME: Well, I’m concerned that one of your bloggers is missing.
WP: Excuse me?
ME: One of your bloggers has been missing for weeks now, and I’m concerned he may have harmed himself. He’s been very upset lately that he’s not famous yet.
WP: Did he put you up to this?
WP: The guy from Brown Road Chronicles. You’re the 14th person who’s called to report him missing.
ME: So you’ll find him then?
WP: No, I’m sorry. This is a technical support for blogs. We don’t handle missing persons.
ME: Well, then I’d like to report a missing blog.
WP: What’s your blog name?
WP: [sighs] Your blog tests just fine Ms. Schilde. Are you sure you’re typing it correctly?
ME: Not my blog… Brown Road Chronicles.
WP: His blog is fine.
ME: You tested it already?
WP: No, I didn’t have to. We have a monitor on his site so if there’s ever a problem, a notification is distributed to the entire tech support team so we can look into it immediately. He’s pretty famous around here.
ME: That’s amazing! Really?
WP: Of course not, Ma’am. But his blog isn’t missing.
ME: You can understand my concern.
WP: Not really.
ME: Well, he’s very important to all of us. His blog is very Seussical.
WP: Very what?
WP: What on Earth is that?
ME: Well, I’d ask Steve, but he’s missing.
ME: The guy who writes Brown Road Chronicles.
WP: I have some advice for you Ma’am. I see it’s been several days since your last blog post. Perhaps you should work on getting something up there so no one calls to report you missing. In the meantime, we’ll keep an eye out for Mr… Brown Road Chronicles and as soon as we see him, we’ll send a notification to your Read Blogs box. How’s that?
ME: I really appreciate that, Julie. You’ve been very supportive.
WP: That’s my job Ma’am. Is there anything else I can help you with?
ME: Well… have you worked on making him famous yet?
WP: Oh good grief! Have a good day, and thank you for using WordPress!
© 2012 Anne Schilde
Julie’s character and the format of this phone call are the intellectual property of Steve over at Brown Road Chronicles. I do recommend stopping over, if you haven’t already, to find out what Seussical means!