Have you ever been stuck in one of those really stupid arguments where you thought the other person was just arguing like an idiot to prove how smart he was? I get those from time to time. I find confrontational challenges of this nature difficult to pass up to be honest. It’s in my nature. I have to keep repeating to myself… “Never argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and then beat you with his experience.”
I’m particularly miffed because recently two different idiots (I’ll call them both Stephen*) felt that some simple humor on my part was a call for an argument. I don’t usually like to single men out this way, but women just don’t do this to me. It’s a simple fact. Interestingly, both Stephens suggested subtly in different ways** that I should shut up, and both men ultimately insinuated that they would eat me. …not in the pleasant way.
Stephen number one took umbrage because I rearranged the words in a post he had commented on to form a different statement than the one in the original post. Um… I write. Puns and other play with words are fun for me and while they may understandably not be as fun for everyone, they are still just humor. Stephen for whatever reason chose to act as if I thought I was somehow superior and that I needed to be put back in my place. I left a comment in the form of a verbose metaphor that said I should have seen him coming, so then he metaphorically told me that he eats people like me and I should shut up.
Guys… add this to your How Not to Get Laid list please.
Stephen number two decided to argue a simple statement I made. All I said was that silence was something no one had ever heard. It was just humor! It even seemed reasonably clever when I said it except that I’m sure I’ve heard it somewhere else before. “Silence can be heard,” he said… NO IT CAN NOT YOU DWEEB! Silence is when you hear nothing! It’s nothing that you hear, not silence! Get over yourself and let me make a joke! Grr!
Okay. That feels a little better. I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of an argument. I kept silent, hoping perhaps that he really could hear it. It wasn’t enough. He must have posted ten more comments that implied that silent was what I should be, and that he eats fish (my current profile picture is Ariel). What is this?
I checked his profile. He’s married. God I am SO sorry, Mrs. Stephen #2!
Now I am really sorry if I’m not making any friends here, but I can’t see any reason for either one of these arguments. Unless… it’s because I’m a girl and I tried to sound clever in the presence of a man. I don’t need that. No girl needs that. No offense Stephens, but can’t you just laugh? Hehe! See it’s easy! This is kind of a deal for me. Growing up, I heard a lot that men are the ones who have the brains and that women are illogical, flighty creatures of intuition. My “intuition” tells me we are just as smart, we try harder in school on an average and we get less recognition for our effort. Just sayin’…
I deliberately left out the political argument in my dream (see Dream Green) the other night. First, I only caught bits and pieces of it because sixty-four or not, Al Green is one really sexy man! Second, I didn’t agree with my date, Stephen, who my readers know as my EX-boyfriend. It was only when I spent half my dawn dreaming that I was writing about arguments, that I decided to revive it.
Really, what is a political argument about anyway? Elections are usually determined by huge margins… and most of these arguments deal with nothing but the past in mind and have a maximum return value of one swing vote on an as-yet-undetermined candidate or proposition. Wow. Wow! That’s an awful lot of heat for not much cooking. Frankly, I keep that stuff on the back burner where it isn’t tying up my stove.
In my dream, Stephen was arguing what a loser our President is for no other reason really than because the President is a Democrat and Stephen is a Republican. That’s just stupid to me. Stephen’s idea of an intellectual point in his argument is, “Hello? Obama-Care?” Tyler’s arguments were a little more pointed, but really he was arguing just because he was a Democrat, so how is that better?
In between songs, I had interjected some comments, once about freedom of choice and once about same-sex marriages. Both times Stephen told me my opinion didn’t count because I was a girl. Well, okay his direct quote the second time was, “Watch the show.” But it was my dream and I knew what he meant.
When I look at the bigger picture from the point of view of an aspiring writer, I just don’t care that much what men think of me or even how they treat me. Statistics say they won’t be the ones reading my books anyway. But as a woman, I care. I care because I have feelings and dreams and they are good. They deserve to thrive. I care because if I’m brave enough to put an intellectual joke where a man can see it, it deserves to be a joke, even if he is smarter than me. I care because our opinions count. I care out loud… because I’m not exactly the only girl who feels this way.
And just for argument’s sake… I care because I’m right.
* Some of you may have noticed that in one of my recent posts I mimicked Stephen King’s writing style a little bit. Yes, his name is Stephen too, but he is a really, really good writer!
** Yes I remember what the stupid astrology page said about me reading insults that weren’t intended!
© 2010 Anne Schilde