Yes. Yes! [digs in her cosmic claws] YES!
“No, not a prescription. My friend said he called in an order for me.”
“Sure, let me check that for you. And what name would that be under?”
“Schilde. S-C-H-I-L-D-E…”
“Schilde… Schilde… Ah here were are… Annie is it?”
[nods]
[pulls slip] “Very good! Order for one dozen orgasms, pre-paid! Your friend, ah… Tincup, must like you very much!”
“Right. That’s just Tinc’s way of saying he feels guilty for not coming to see me.”
[fidgets uncomfortably] “I see. I’m sorry about that. Well, it’s an open order. What kind of orgasms would you like?”
“Get out! They come in like flavors or something? Urrggg… no pun intended.”
“None taken. We carry several brands.”
“What’s your most popular?”
“Big Bang.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“That sounds kind of, um… masculine.”
“I understand. The ladies do seem to prefer the Out of this World brand.”
“Whatever, I’ll take those.”
[waits patiently]
[looks annoyed at pharmacist]
“What size?”
“Size?”
“Orbit? Moon shot? Galactic merge?”
[swallows]
“Is something wrong, Ma’am?”
“Galactic merge? Seriously? I’m still getting used to the idea that orgasms come in a box! Urrggg… No p…”
[chimes in] “…pun intended. None taken. So then…?”
“Orbit, I guess.”
“Great! A dozen Out of this World Orbits. I’ll box those right up for you. Now, if I could just see some ID…”
“ID?”
“Yes, Ma’am. You have to be eighteen to have an orgasm.”
“Um… I’ve been pretty good at ‘em since I was twelve? Anyway, I thought Tinc already paid for these. Didn’t you check his ID?”
“Yes Ma’am, but I have to check yours too. Buying orgasms for a minor is a felony.”
[shows her ID]
“Perfect. And may I say you look very young for twenty-eight!”
“Thanks, I think.”
[disappears in the back, returns, and bags a dozen small boxes]
[frowns]
“Is something wrong, Ma’am?”
“They don’t look like much. I guess I just thought they’d be… you know… bigger is all.”
“Some things never change.”
“Excuse me?”
“Nothing. Thank you very much, Ms. Schilde. Enjoy your orgasms and do come again!”
© 2013 Anne Schilde
Authors Note: This was inspired by questions posed by Tinc over at Contemplating the Human Direction.
This cracked me up. Loved it?
Haha, I’m glad, CC. I wonder if that pharmacy carries laughter too. Probably should have picked up some while I was there.
I’d like to know what pharmacy you went to for this prescription! Lol
Just look for the sign that says Rxxx.
Ha ha! Who’d a’thought.
Right? I forgot to ask him if it was safe to take all twelve!
Oh my gosh Anne! This is awesome! Brilliant! Too fun for words!!!! You are increadable!
♥ That’s such a great word! How come I never saw that before?
That was brilliant! I wonder if they’ll start selling them in boots down the road.
They are quite in demand I hear. Perhaps if you inquired enough times, it might encourage them.
Here’s hoping! Though I bet the EU would have some regulation about it. Fecking party-poopers!
Lmao…that was hillarious…so u chose the Orbit…ha ha…better than the big bang…I imagine the orbit to be a nice long process…ha ha
Haha, I figured if you weren’t going to be there to enjoy them with me, why waste a dozen perfectly good galactic merges? Did you bring the wine?
ha…of course I brought the red wine…it is my secret to a longer process…ha ha ha…and…did they offer you a variety pack???? Hell…you have to mix it up once and a while:-)
The temptation to explore the varieties and just take one of each was overwhelming, but it would have deviated from my Little Boxes theme.
Why…each one could come in its own special box
(Standing) (Clapping) (Shouting) BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO!
“Doesn’t get any better than this……. ” (he said to his companion as the theater lights dimmed and they put on their coats and they eave into the cool night air)
Randy
That’s so awesome! I’m so excited right now!! Did you actually get the unspoken box reference?
orgasms come in a box
bags a dozen small boxes
“They don’t look like much. I guess I just thought they’d be… you know… bigger is all.
Little boxes..
Hmmm. Was there an unspoken box reference?
I’ll reply in email…
Lovely and light hearted! Make me choke
That’s great! It’s good to know I made some laughs for a change.